Thursday, January 30, 2014 was a very sad day for me, as my lifetime mentor and friend left us for her eternal rest with the Lord. While she was not a public figure, Gloria Guzzardo touched hundreds of people’s lives with her testimony and service to others. I was privileged to be a personal friend for over twenty years, often referring to her as my spiritual mom, and her investment in me forever changed my life. If you are wondering if your life can truly have an impact on others, perhaps my story will help you with that answer.
As I write this I realize there are many, many lessons this dear woman taught me over the last twenty years. So what had the biggest impact? It would have to be that I model my life after Jesus. “Love the Lord your God will all your heart, your soul, your strength, your might; and love your neighbor as yourself.” Gloria truly lived out this truth. She taught me that I am lovable, and worthy of being loved by God, myself, and others. That is true because God says its true. I thought I was simply here to serve, and didn’t bother with the “loving me” part of that verse. She would have me kiss my hands and say to myself, “I love you.” It was this principle that changed the way I viewed myself and the way I viewed marriage. She poured so much love into me that today I am able to help others love themselves and their spouses with the love God has given them.
She never met a stranger. When she smiled, you saw the love of Christ beaming through her. Her home was open to any who wanted what she had to offer, which was the love of God and a willingness to serve Him. I saw her take in women on several occasions who needed temporary residence, and a place to heal. She would feed them manicotti, meatballs, and the word of God. They would begin to heal.
Another important lesson I learned from Gloria is that we do not have to wear what others say about us. A person might say something about me because they are hurting, and therefore, they would like me to hurt also. I do not have to own that hurt. I can choose to believe the truth about myself. When teaching this lesson, she would hand out a keychain with a banana attached to it and say, “If I call you a yellow banana, does that make you a yellow banana?” Of course not! I carried that banana keychain for years to remind myself to take responsibility for my own life, and not allow others to dictate who or what I am.
She taught me the law of priorities: activity is not necessarily accomplishment (I think John Maxwell must have met Gloria!). At one point in her life she found herself too busy, so she resigned from everything she was doing and went through a season of reflection, before allowing God to show her where He wanted her to invest her time. She told me that people will always want you to serve here and there to satisfy their own agenda, but it is imperative that you spend your time where God can use you the most effectively. People will frequently disappoint you because they are human; but God will never disappoint you because He is sovereign. As a result of this lesson, I try to focus on where God wants me to serve each and every day, and limit my time to serving those who appreciate what I have to offer.
Gloria taught me that it is better to focus on my holiness than my happiness. Happiness is fleeting; ice cream can make you happy, and then you are saddened by the calories it has added to you physically. But holiness is redemptive; it has eternal value. I choose to have a pure heart. It does not mean I am perfect; it means I have a clear conscience about my motives. My motive is to serve God, not please others. God is Holy; therefore, I am holy because He is holy, not because of who I am, but because I have chosen Him to be my primary focus.
She also impressed on me The Law of Legacy – it is my duty and privilege to pass on to others what has been successfully taught to me. I choose to spend my life investing in people. I am privileged and honored today to be a life coach – specifically a marriage coach – and teach others what I have learned so they can have a successful marriage relationship. God has used my failures in relationships to help others be successful.
One day as I sat at her dining room table eating her homemade manicotti, she told me that would be the final time. With a lump in my throat, I asked her Why? and she shared that her hands were getting too feeble to roll the crepes. I asked her if I supplied the hands would she make it one more time. And yes, she taught me how to make her homemade manicotti. I will never forget that day. Ever.
I can only imagine that today Gloria is looking down and smiling, knowing that her investment has paid off. She was a good and faithful servant, and I can honor her best with how I live each day until I get to the same destination. See you later, my friend!
Cindy Jacob Southworth is a marriage and relationship coach, certified through the American Assn of Christian Counselors and a member of the International Assn of Christian Coaches. Cindy is a John Maxwell certified speaker, trainer, and coach. She and her husband David are the owners of Breakwater Coaching.