Now that I’m officially a “blog writer,” I spend more time looking at what other people are writing about. There are LOTS of blogs about what’s wrong in a marriage. Here are some titles:
Five Symptoms of a Failing Marriage
How to tell if your Marriage is going South
How to Survive an Intimacy-Free Marriage
What?? Really?? What about the positive side of marriage??
Last week my husband and I bought a car. That is a stressor that tests your relationship! (We came through with flying colors, by the way!) The sales rep that sold us the car shared with us that he has been happily married for 32 years! Amazing! He started telling us some things that they have done that “keep it happy,” and they are worth passing on ……. along with some other nuggets we have heard from other “happy marriages.” See how many fit into your relationship.
1. We have a date night once a month (some once a week ….. but the key is that it is a regular commitment!)
2. We learned early on how to resolve conflict in the relationship. (Let us tell you about “closing the loop!”)
3. We value each other’s careers and became each other’s cheerleaders at reaching our potential.
4. We worship together on a regular basis at an agreed upon place of worship, and invited God into our relationship.
5. We partner together to raise the children, and show a united front with them.
6. We got assistance for setting financial goals and were able to set boundaries in our finances.
7. My husband knows he is respected.
8. My wife knows she is loved.
9. We occasionally participate in a “marriage check-up,” whether it is a marriage retreat, encounter, or small group accountability. We ask ourselves, “How are we doing?”
10. We learned how to laugh at the small stuff. And most of it is small stuff.
Look over this list ….. and add some more to the list! We would love to hear from you. If you need help in these areas, you might want to chat with a marriage coach! We would love to help you get to Number 10!
David and Cindy Southworth are certified Marriage and Relationship Coaches from Breakwater Coaching. For more information, you can contact them at breakwatercoaching@aol.com.