This week I wrapped up another season of a group called “Wounded Heart.” The Wounded Heart was written by Dr. Dan Allender, and the women in this group commit to doing this study together in the hopes of finding peace in the midst of the storm they call “childhood sexual abuse.” This storm that they battle in their hearts is like a tropical storm that sits stationary and refuses to move (this thought came to me as Debby refused to leave Florida coasts this week!). They agree to study together so the storm will dissipate and they can experience, peace and joy in their lives.
Facilitating a group like this is both painful and rewarding. It’s hard to watch someone peel back the layers that have been built around a heart that is so wounded, and look at the pain that has enveloped her for so long. At the same time it is rewarding to see the Hand of God in their lives as they allow Him to enter into that pain and reveal Himself. Time after time I have witnessed God show himself to be BIGGER than the PAIN, and He alone turns their FEAR into FAITH. As they believe by faith, God moves them through the pain to the other side, releasing them from the bondage of that pain, and giving them freedom of openness, trust, and hope. What once held them captive has now set them free to love again.
The ending of the group is bittersweet: the women have bonded together as they have shared their deepest secrets, their most inner hurts, and their biggest struggles. But they know it is time to move on – to close that chapter of their lives, and begin a new chapter.
Three things come to mind as they begin this new chapter: 1) The scars of abuse will always be there – no longer an open wound, but a scar – to remind us that God did the work in us, that we are not defined by our abuse, but we are defined by the love that God poured in us to deliver us from the abuse; 2) We make a choice to love – that choice is not always easy, but possible, because God first loved us, therefore we choose to love; and 3) Trust is not earned once and for all. It has to be established and maintained; without trust, a relationship cannot be healthy. We choose to trust, knowing that God will sustain us.
There are many lessons to be learned as one peers into their wounded heart and allows God to reveal Himself to us. Necessary lessons to set us free.
Dedicated to the women of courage — you know who you are!
Written by Cindy Southworth. Cindy is a certified Marriage and Leadership Coach, and is Director of Breakwater Coaching. She is certified by the American Assn of Christian Counselors, and members of the International Christian Coaching Assn.